Married to the Coach: Utah @ BYU: Rivalry Week

20-13

Another rivalry game has come and gone, and thank goodness we get a long break after this one. As fun as it is, it has always been one of the more stressful weeks of the year. For me, at least. And back in 1997, life threw another curveball at me. I was 20 weeks pregnant and had previously had some early complications, but everything seemed to have resolved. However my doctor sent me for a follow-up ultrasound just to be sure, and of course the ultrasound was scheduled right at the beginning of rivalry week. It turned out that the complications hadn't resolved, and things were worse than expected. I won't go into details, but I was informed during my appointment that I needed to decide as soon as possible if I should abort the pregnancy because going through with it would put my life at risk. Little did my doctor know, I was now faced with two major decisions. 1- whether or not to keep my baby and 2- whether or not to tell my husband during one of the hardest weeks of the season. Even though he was not head coach at the time, he was still under a great deal of stress and I didn't want to add to it. I decided to take the few extra precious days and wait to talk about this with Kyle. That Saturday, November 22nd, Utah beat BYU 20-14 and that very night I sat down with Kyle and finally told him of the medical issues. I think he was more in shock that I was able to hide it from him for days than he was upset that I didn't tell him. After much discussion and prayer, we made the decision not to abort the pregnancy and I had Kylie (6 weeks early) by C-section on February 26, 1998. I have looked back on that situation and I'm not sure anyone outside of a coach's family could understand why I would make that decision.

This year I had another health scare on the Monday before the BYU game when I found a lump in my breast. It was difficult, but I made the same decision as I made 16 years ago and decided to keep my fears to myself. I was unable to get into a doctor until the Monday after the game, so I was a wreck all week. Kyle asked me a few times if everything was ok, but I kept my silence. Finally after we won the game 20-13, I told Kyle what I had found. Again, he was shocked that I didn't mention anything the entire week. And while he insists my health is more important than a football game, I know the challenges he faces during the week and I am glad that I did not add to his stress. I ended up having a mammogram and ultrasound and while I do have to follow-up again, everything seems to be fine.

I think the bottom line of this is that being a coach's wife is a unique position. When your husband is putting in 80 hour weeks during the season and on the road recruiting for weeks at a time during off-season, it makes you learn to deal with things you never thought you could have on your own (like dealing with 4 crazy kids). And while it has been hard, I wouldn't change my life for anything. It has made me become a strong and independent woman, and I have learned that "I can do hard things."